Back in 2017, my mother-in-law told me that my son Liam Kyle seemed to be unusually interested at the ceiling fan, often staring at it with fascination for minutes, and even lasting an hour or more. They were worried that something might be wrong with him. I told them that I had not noticed anything out of the ordinary with my child. As a full-time working mom, I was only able to bond and take care of my child after getting home from the office, and make up for the time during weekends and holidays.
I became more observant and eventually admitted to myself that Liam has unusual and curious behaviors as a three-year old. He was an extremely picky eater. He also had distressing temper tantrums before going to bed, or whenever he was sleepy. Interestingly, he would sing or hum a tune that he heard and get the tune right every time. My sister noted that Liam had a 'musical ear', as he could hum a tune pitch-perfect. We also noted peculiar sensory observations, like his preferences for certain textures and aversions to certain tastes and smells.
I was also worried that he wasn't meeting the milestones for his age. At three, he couldn't construct simple sentences or understand simple questions; he often stares somewhere for minutes, and he can’t seem to recognize the people around him: like me, as his mom; his dad, or even his grandparents. He would also not respond to his name, nor look us in the eyes to hold a conversation.
Photos of Liam as a baby
Despite these observations, we also knew that Liam is a spunky and curious child, with a bright and energetic personality that can turn our house upside down and most of the time, even loud and wild. He doesn't seem to tire whenever he finds something interesting to pour his heart out and mind at. He was, to us, always seeking for something new, and in his inquisitive eyes, we know that his uniqueness and incredible appetite for stimulating activities makes him all the more lovable and special.
Pediatric Diagnosis
In March 2018, we decided to have Liam checked by a developmental pediatrician in Manila. At that time, I was relocated in my home province for my work and I wasn't able to accompany Liam to his scheduled appointment.
I remember the day when we found out that he has ASD. I was in a company outing and I got a call from my mother-in-law. I cried right away.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disability that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges.
I was asked if I drank any medicine when I was pregnant with Liam, and if he was my first pregnancy. I understand that they were looking for a reason or reasons why it happened. I also understand if they want to blame me for it and, yes, I did blame myself too.
As it happens, autism has no single known cause.
Given the complexity of the disorder, and the fact that symptoms and severity vary, there are probably many causes. Both genetics and environment may play a role.
Genetics. Several different genes appear to be involved in autism spectrum disorder. For some children, autism spectrum disorder can be associated with a genetic disorder, such as Rett syndrome or fragile X syndrome. For other children, genetic changes (mutations) may increase the risk of autism spectrum disorder. Still other genes may affect brain development or the way that brain cells communicate, or they may determine the severity of symptoms. Some genetic mutations seem to be inherited, while others occur spontaneously.
Environmental factors. Researchers are currently exploring whether factors such as viral infections, medications or complications during pregnancy, or air pollutants play a role in triggering autism spectrum disorder.
Source: Mayoclinic
We were advised that Liam has to undergo therapies that will aid him with managing his behavior and speech, as well as guide his social development. We followed the doctor’s advice and found a therapy center in our province. The therapist gave us his observations during appointments. We were told to have Liam do activities at home like dressing himself up, bathe himself, and always talk to him to push him to have a normal conversation. Unfortunately, Liam’s therapy was on and off because of financial difficulties. Every appointment costs P1,200 and we’re supposed to have his therapies twice a week. We tried to simulate his activities in the center and got him a tutor as well.
All is Well
At 4 years old, a year after his diagnosis, we were astounded at the significant leap he made. We were surprised that he could already read English words even without direct instruction or teaching from us. We didn't expect that all the time he spent watching Youtube videos on alphabets, reading, and nursery rhymes were valuable time he used to learn on his own. It was incredible.
Liam reading at 4 years old
He’s now 5 years old and we’re happy that he has made significant improvements ever since. Our bright-eyed, beautiful boy is more than curious as ever, undeniably feisty and smart, and we are always awed with his fascination for cars and computers. He can read and write well in English. We are working on guiding him to learn speaking in straight sentences in Tagalog, but we are getting there.
He can now fully understand simple sentences, questions and tasks. We are still having a hard time with his temper, so if he’s having a tantrum (which happens usually at bedtime), we make sure that we have a diversion tactic ready.
We enrolled him in a public school for kindergarten this year. Students don’t have face-to-face classes so we don’t have anything to worry about, for now. He has a personal tutor teaching him the lessons and helping him with his modules everyday. For some reasons, Liam won’t follow us (maybe because he knows he can win us with his cries) so we decided to go with a tutor. We were able to finish this quarter with ease.
Liam Kyle is a bright, happy kid who brings us smiles and laughter everyday.
Accepting our Child's Uniqueness
Children with ASD are amazing. No one said parenting is easy, and although there are undoubtedly more challenges for parents like me, I will be ready to give and sacrifice anything for my child. And yes, patience and understanding are important. The world can definitely judge our children, but as parents, our children need all the love, support and understanding that we can give.
I adore and love Liam with all of my heart. Everyone in the family cherishes him, and always looks out for him. He is most dear, most special, and I will always be his number 1.
If you notice any significant developmental observations on your child that you are worried about, you can always take your child to a developmental pediatrician to evaluate his or her condition. The key with managing ASD is early intervention, family support, and lots and lots of love and patience.
Do you want to share your baby's amazing stories and experiences? Message us in the chat box, or email us at ftmom.ph@gmail.com to know more.
Whether you want to write your baby's story or let us handle the story-telling, your baby's story will definitely relate with other moms... or inspire the best Mama in all of us.
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